Reaffirming (and Redefining) My Beliefs
When I began the process of applying for the Master of Education program through Michigan State University in the summer of 2015, I was applying in hopes of finding tools and strategies to make me a better teacher. I believed there were specific tools (ideally technology tools) and concrete strategies that I could implement in my own classroom to enhance and perfect what I was already doing. At the time I felt like many teachers do in their first few years in the classroom: exhausted, exhilarated, and overwhelmed. I loved my job and my students, but I also felt like I was becoming lost in all of the other things that are involved in being a teacher all day every day. Things that are overlooked in teacher education programs, like how to prioritize when there just is not enough time to get through everything, or how to plan an effective classroom management system for all students. As I sat down to apply for the graduate program, I was thinking back to my time as an undergraduate student when I learned about teaching as a practice and wished that I had students of my own with which to utilize teaching strategies. That was a time of anticipation, when I could not wait to get started and I desperately wanted to reclaim that feeling.
In pursuing my master’s degree, I wanted to be presented with tools and strategies that would provide me with answers to my students’ questions, as well as my own. If I was looking for some magical tool or strategy to introduce in my own practice, then this program did not provide it. If I was looking for a renewed sense of purpose, and a belief in myself as a teacher and professional, then this program exceeded my expectations.
During my time in the master’s program, I was introduced to tools and strategies that I have utilized in my own classroom practice. While I have appreciated how these tools have enhanced my classroom practice, I feel my greatest growth as a result of this program has been in my belief in myself and my craft. After several classes (and several years), I have a stronger belief in my own ability to make decisions. My belief in my own intuition has grown immensely. Now I feel like I have the answers because I am more confident (and comfortable) knowing that there might not be an answer. While some of this growth undoubtedly comes from experience in the classroom, I have no doubt that much of this growth is directly connected to the classes I took and the experiences I had as part of the master’s program. It is difficult to narrow down these growth experiences to three specific classes, but upon looking back at all of my work over the past two and a half years, three classes stand out as ones in which my expectations were challenged and my knowledge of my own abilities, and my students’ abilities expanded. These three classes were:
TE 846: Accommodating Differences in Literacy Learners
As an undergraduate student, my major was special education. I spent several months as an intern in a special education classroom using literacy practices to improve students’ reading abilities. Following my internship, I worked in the general education setting in different districts and at different grade levels. I thought I knew everything I needed to know about literacy education. So when I read the course description for TE 846, I wondered what more I could possibly learn about literacy learners and literacy instruction. As the course start date drew closer, I learned that we would be applying course information throughout the semester by working with a student to assess and plan literacy instruction. Suddenly I was not only wondering what I would learn in the course, I was wondering if I could complete the course assignments, because I did not know where I was going to find a student to work with in the middle of the summer. For the first time in a few years, I did not have plans to work with students that summer. Unfortunately, I needed to identify a student I could work with on a regular basis. As I reread the project description and made a mental inventory of all of the children I knew, I noticed that the course required me to work with a preschool or elementary age child. I knew a student in preschool, and would be able to work with her regularly. The only challenge would be that as much as I thought I knew about literacy instruction, I had no experience with early literacy instruction.
It did not take long for me to realize that I had a lot to learn about best practices in early literacy instruction. There were definitely connections between early literacy practices and what I taught in my third grade classroom, but I also found myself in very unfamiliar territory. For years I have said that I could not teach kindergarten or preschool because I would not know where to start, so how did I expect to teach a preschooler and receive a grade for my efforts? I could have quit, or approached the class and assignment with less than my usual effort. Instead I found myself excited to assess this young learner. I had virtually no experience designing instruction for a four-year-old, but I could not wait to design lessons based on identified needs. This class clearly gave me strategies to use in my own literacy instruction, but more than that it provided me with a greater belief in myself and my abilities. As a result of this class, I no longer feel that there is anything that I “can’t” teach. I recognize that there are areas in which I may be less comfortable, but I am now aware that these areas might just lead to a renewed sense of purpose and excitement.
TE 849: Methods and Materials for Teaching Children’s and Adolescent Literature
While TE 846 enabled me to enhance my belief in myself and my teaching abilities, TE 849, with a focus on children’s literature, encouraged me to have a greater belief in my students. I am fairly certain that every elementary school teacher has a love of children’s literature. For many teachers (myself included), there are children’s books that provided the spark for us to pursue a career in education. The books (and experiences associated with them), create meaningful memories later in life. When I enrolled in TE 849, I could not wait to spend a semester engulfed in the world of children’s literature. I anticipated spending several months studying a variety of literature, with a fair amount of animals serving as protagonists. I was especially looking forward to this course because one of the assignments involved incorporating the literature we would study in the course into daily life in our classrooms. It is not always possible to have such a direct link between what I am learning in one classroom and what I am teaching in another.
As excited as I was to explore and discuss literature with my students, I had some hesitation about the topics I would be introducing to my third graders. In TE 849, we went beyond studying children’s books with animal protagonists, as we explored titles related to race, sexual orientation, and disability. I was not sure that the eight- and nine-year-olds I was working with would have the background knowledge to understand the texts we were reading together. If they were able to understand the content of the texts, I wondered how they would respond to these topics that were very different from the books we typically read as part of my school’s reading curriculum. I need not have doubted my students (or the literature). There was not one text that we read together that was beyond my students’ abilities to comprehend. These young learners understood what we read together and naturally sympathized with unfamiliar characters. By taking me beyond what I would have been comfortable introducing to students, TE 849 gave me a greater belief in my students. I have a greater belief in my students as literacy learners, but also as citizens of our world.
CEP 813: Electronic Assessment
As teachers, sometimes we lose sight of why we teach. We get lost in the minute details of the day and forget that our ultimate goal is student learning (whether or not that can be measured on standardized tests). Everything we plan and implement is ultimately done to increase student understanding. Too often, we also lose sight of why we assess. Tests, quizzes, and projects have become so regulated that teachers (and other stakeholders) forget that assessments should be designed to inform instruction and guide learning. I am no different than my peers. I feel the pressure to improve my students’ test scores. At the end of the year, I am too often left feeling like these scores are a reflection of me and my teaching abilities, rather than what they should be-a measure of student growth and prescription for future instruction. When I enrolled in CEP 813, I was at the point in the school year when everything seems focused on the what of assessment, but nothing seems focused on the why. This course could not have come at a better time.
In CEP 813, we did more than study and discuss methods of electronic assessment. We also focused on utilizing assessment as a tool for learning, not an evaluation of student (or teacher) success. Every project and assignment I completed in this course was focused on my core beliefs about assessment. This class reaffirmed the beliefs I had about assessment as an undergraduate student. I was able to believe once again in the power of teaching, learning, and purpose.
I started in the master’s program in the Spring of 2016. I am not the same teacher I was when I started this program. I now teach different students in a different school in a different district. These things would have changed regardless of my participation in the master’s program. The biggest changes that have occurred since that day (almost) three years ago have nothing to do with where I am teaching and everything to do with who I am as a teacher. I am now a teacher who is more solid in my beliefs about myself, my students, and learning. I am no longer searching for one tool or strategy (although I still love discovering and introducing new things), because I know that there is no trick that will impact my students’ learning as much as the growth and development of my teaching practices.
Would I have become a more confident and competent teacher without the master’s program at Michigan State? Probably. There is a certain amount of growth that occurs simply through experience. I likely would have made changes to my practice through trial and error in the classroom. However, without the experiences I had in my courses at Michigan State, I would not have had the same level of growth. Nor would I have had growth in the same key areas. Had I not worked with an early literacy learner, I would not have known the level of excitement I experience when working through new situations. Had I not introduced my students to a variety of children’s literature through book talks, I would not have known just how capable and powerful their young minds can be. Had I not had the opportunity to explore assessments, I would not have been able to refine and affirm my belief in the purpose of education.
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As I finish my time at Michigan State, I am thankful for the growth I have made and the beliefs I have gained. I am confident that this growth has made me a better educator. I am also confident what I have gained during my time in the program will lead to continued growth in the future.
To download a PDF version of my Synthesis Essay, click the link below.